My Story: How I Came to Be an Expat

Oh, well, HELLO there! My name is Ashley, and I am the creator of this thirtysomething expat space. I am in fact a thirtysomething woman who enjoys her life as an expat.

You may be asking yourself, how does one make the life decision to become an expat? Well, don't you worry your pretty little face over it, because I am about to break it down for you!

Here is my expat story.

The Beginnings of Wanderlust

I've been obsessed with places since I can remember.

Growing up with an immigrant mother from Turkey can have that effect. My mom had weird, foreign superstitions, and there were always evil eyes hanging over our doorways. I knew my mom came from a far away land much different to the 'burbs of California, but it wasn't until I was 7 that I experienced that other land first hand.

It was during my family's 1992 Turkey trip that I had that feeling for the first time: the feeling of being a fish out of water, but also absolutely loving this new, odd, colorful, different place. I was breathing new air, you see. Something in me had evolved, and I became a child newly obsessed with travel.

Loving on Turkey (in rad 90s fashion).

Applying to a New Life

That feeling never went away. It was the kind of nagging that only grew larger as time went on. Weirdly, I never studied abroad in college and regretted it.

Eventually, I started to work in the education field and realized I loved helping students. I was soon introduced to the role of an International Education Advisor--essentially, an advisor who helps students study in different countries. This is the kind of job for me, I thought!

Most International Education Advisor roles preferred master's degrees, so I started thinking about obtaining a master's. That's when the idea was presented to me from a friend of a friend: how about getting your master's degree abroad? Lightbulb moment! I was very bored with my stationary office job, so this idea was especially enticing.

On a whim in 2012, I applied to universities in the United Kingdom, and to my shock, I got in! I settled on being in London, and attending the Univerisity of Roehampton. It was crazy to me that a few application forms wildly changed my life. I was forging a different path for myself at 27.

The New Expat Phase

Being a new expat is a shock to the system. You have all the excitement of living in a new place, with all the fear and hardship that comes with it. I went through the standard W Curve of emotions during this year abroad.

Ultimately, I flourished.

I had that new expat swagger!

I started to absolutely love my life in a way I had never experienced before: I loved staring out the window of the train at my new world. I'd head to pub quiz every Tuesday, walked aimlessly through a maze of alleyways, and learned how I liked my cup of tea. In exploring this new culture, I came to know myself better.

Happy as clams during rush hour on the tube.

Nothing better than a London picnic!

Oh, the places I went! Getting lost in Rome.

How do I adequately describe the feeling of diving, head first, into being an expat? I'm going to borrow a quote from Meryl Streep that sums it up quite nicely: "I want to feel my life while I'm in it."

I'd wake up each morning and could feel my cells bouncing in anticipation for living. I was a bright-eyed, hungry-for-adventure, brand new Ashley. When I look back, I know that was the moment in time where I finally claimed my life as my own.

Expat Withdrawals

All good things come to an end, I told myself, and so I packed my suitcase and headed back to San Diego once the year was up.

Returning home to the USA was a whole other shock to the system--one I wasn't wholly prepared for. The initial happiness I felt from reuniting with my family wore off and I sunk into a bit of a depression, terribly missing my London life. This is a common occurrence for study abroad students, and one that takes some time to fully work through.

No matter how much I tried to "return to normal," I knew at a soul level that living in London unlocked something in me. I wasn't done exploring, and I wasn't done living in new places. At the time, it was next to impossible to get a work visa in London, so I opted for the next best thing: I moved to New York City.

NYC was like a slap in the face of sounds, bright lights, sleepless nights, and glamour. But as most will tell you, The Big Apple will wear you out somethin' good. After 2 years there, I decided to say adieu and moved to the calmer East Coast city of Boston, which was a last ditch effort to stay in the US and stop daydreaming of being an expat.

It didn't work. After a year in Boston, I still had a nagging to be back in London. I still counted down the days until I took international trips. I still longed for weird little chimneys and chicken & leek pies. After many years of being in the States, I came to the conclusion that London had seeped its way into my blood. I couldn't shake it, and so I decided to surrender, instead. I would find my way back to London and get myself a UK work visa.

The Return to Being a Londoner

Securing a work visa was no easy task, but it was one I was determined to accomplish. I had a bit of a head start--I worked in International Education and my company had a branch in the UK. Still, they had never sponsored anyone for a work visa, so I had to do the brave thing: I had to ask for what I wanted.

I thought I'd hear a solid no, but to my surprise, the answer was yes. I guess when you put something out there with real determination, it gets delivered to you!

Let me tell you: getting a work visa in the UK is not a process for the weak! There were hurdles to jump through, times where the whole thing almost fell apart, fits of tears and frustrations, and second thoughts along the way. A year and half later, I finally made my way, post flight, to UK Border Control with a shiny new work visa in hand. I was now an official London resident.

I've now been back in London for 2 years, and though it was a bit of a convoluted process to get me here, every stop was a crucial part of my journey, all nudging me back home to London.